Former Highlanders flanker John Hardie opens up on drugs ban shame

Kilted-Kiwi John Hardie's motivation to rebuild his career and reputation after a drug ban is one many will understand - the desire to make his parents proud again, to give something back to those who have always stood by him.

Born and raised in New Zealand, Hardie converted to Scotland's cause through a Scottish grandmother and on the back of a successful spell at Edinburgh as an openside flanker with the foraging skills to make himself a nuisance at any breakdown. He was a regular in the Scotland side, excelling at the Rugby World Cup in 2015.

Things were good, the decision to leave the family farm, 95 kilometres south of Queenstown, to move to Europe was a success. He could not have been happier.

Then came the moment that threatened everything. A night out, an allegation that he had been seen taking cocaine in an Edinburgh bar. There was a disciplinary hearing and a three-month ban followed, even though he had not failed a drug test.

Hardie felt like an outcast. Through it all, the thing that hurt him most was the shame and regret he had caused those back home who loved him most. It still bites, more than a year later.

"It did cross my mind that I'd be seen as damaged goods," says Hardie, his features carrying most of the trademark battle scars of a top-level flanker.

"You always have those sorts of things in the back of your mind, but you have to remember that you have done a lot of things in your career that had a positive impact.

"It was a really difficult time for those close to me. Personally, it made me a better person. It made me not take things for granted. I think I've come out of it with a different outlook on life. I think that's what it taught me.

"It's always going to be there in the background. It's going to be there when people do a search of my name on the internet. I know for my parents it's hard, because whenever they read something in the paper it's, John Hardie... something, something. It's around those lines.

"They don't like that, but like me, they've just got to accept it. I've got to go back out on the rugby field and make them proud and reinforce the fact that I've moved on. I want to make my mum and dad proud again. They have always loved watching me play rugby and I want to give them that pleasure again."

Full article: Stuff.co.nz